not my friend

I was reading someone’s blog today and she set off a spark that’s turned into a fire of agreement.

She talked about deep betrayal in a way I have only edged up to.

She addressed something out loud that I’d only kept inside the deepest part of my heart.

I suspect it’s because friendships on so many levels mean so much to me.  Friendships with my peers and with their parents, in some cases, got me through my childhood, my adolescence, and beyond. Friendships are still helping me though.

Burning a bridge of friendship is a serious thing for me. I have never done it lightly or easily.

Friendship is sacred. Except when it’s not.

And the “not” is what I have to acknowledge.

I’ve hit a point in my life where I’m not going to mince words. All of the airy fairy, so nice, and so compassionate words aside, someone did this.

I know what someone says.  I didn’t fail someone. Someone made some choices and did this.

If you are related to someone, I can exclude you from this rant. That’s different and I get it. You’re related, it’s okay. I can still love you.

But.

If you aren’t related to someone and chose to be friends with us when we were together and now want to be friends with both of us, forget it.

Ain’t gonna fly. When you made that choice, I lost a friend. That’s all. It’s just that simple.

heart-on-fire

 

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About rainshadowfarm

I teach anthropology, am an archaeologist, a drylands agroecologist, community educator, and a single mother of eight grown kids. I currently own and operate an educational and research farm in the southern Mojave Desert, Rainshadow Farm. I'm 100% West Virginia hillbilly. Not necessarily in that order.
This entry was posted in Life changes, resilience, spiritual ecologies and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to not my friend

  1. Elizabeth says:

    When I got divorced at the tender age of 26, I lost several close friends. They were “friends” with us both and “chose” to stay friends with my ex. Even nearly 25 years later, it still smarts a bit.

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