My current vocation might be described as scanning the horizon for hope.
Not hope as the companion of fear or of failure or of despair and depression. Not some starry hope for the future. Just hope. Right now. As it exists in the moment. That hope.
For many years I lived in a world that I crammed into a box that supposedly made sense. The kind of hope in that box tried to push away sadness and fear and uncertainty. It embraced denial in so many forms. Then came sickness and separation like I had never experienced. Maybe I thought I had, but, for certain, I hadn’t. For two years it was all I could do to hold on and let the ride take me. And that’s what I did.
So what is this hope thing? It seems to be a movement of the heart/mind toward the very present. Toward immediacy. I exist in hope. So do you. I am hope. You are too.
It is clarity.
The water flowing by.
This existence of ours is as transient as autumn clouds
To watch the birth and death of beings is like looking at the movements of a dance.
A lifetime is like a flash of lightening in the sky,
Rushing by, like a torrent down a steep mountain.